Waver was written in the lonely bridal suite of a desert motel in the tiny town of Easton, Texas. I was there for about a week or so back in 2008, building out emergency room mobile computer stations for Easton’s only hospital. Given the hectic nature of this project, I was working 3rd shifts to accommodate Easton’s ER staff. Needless to say, the combination of late nights, little rest, & hospital hazards made for an interesting experience. At the time, I had been reading a lot of Poe & listening to records with considerably dark themes. These influences, along with the general gloomy aura of Easton’s ER, permeated my thoughts & set the tone for my writing. Waver is ultimately the culmination of sober meditations on death & loneliness. Concerning death, the Grim Reaper reference alludes back to my own cessation, having been pronounced dead shortly after birth due to complications of being born 3 months ahead of schedule. Fortunately for me, that pronouncement was only temporary. As for the Loveless reference, that was largely inspired by the motel room itself. It’s hard to ignore the incisive irony of lonesomeness within a bridal suite. I couldn’t help but think of the newlyweds, adulterous moonlighters, & possibly even the solitary songwriters who may have occupied the room previously. The concept of two small-town lovers who occasionally convene at a desert motel to escape the boredom of their simple lives began to play out in my head, & eventually reserved a room within my narrative. Alas, the waver itself, literally denotes the dense amount of documentation I had to sign off on while working at the hospital, in addition to a metaphor regarding the personal responsibility & acceptance of life, love, & eventually death.
lyrics
Grim & I go way back
to the very day I was born
told him I’d have to take a rain check
because I wasn’t ready to leave just yet
& till this day we still talk
calls me on his cigarette break to catch up
I’m ready for you now
I’m ready for you
are you ready for me?
loveless & I have made amends
to this day, we remain close friends
on occasion we’ll share the same bed
but weighted down is not the way that I intend to stay
I’m ready for you now
I’m ready for you
are you ready for me?
all this time
life has been the danger
& death won’t sign the waver
all this time
love has been the mistake
so lonely takes her place
credits
from Shadowlands,
released January 13, 2017
All material written, performed, produced, arranged, mixed, & mastered by Chase Fiorenza & Matthew Smith.
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