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Shadowlands

by Chase Fiorenza

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1.
closure come to find when given time appropriate to fit the crime patience to walk that line to walk that line the straight & narrow assume as borrowed the straight & narrow is soon to follow faith remaining sane it’s like waiting for the year to change it’s like waiting for the midnight train the straight & narrow assume as borrowed the straight & narrow is soon to follow
2.
Deal 03:10
& you know you’re getting towards the end when your only friend is the bottle in your hand & you know you can’t get any lower when you’re never sober to feel the pain so tell me how am I supposed to feel when I don’t want to feel a thing? tell me how am I supposed to be when I can’t ever let it be? I can’t let it be it’s just the way I deal & you can save up your whole life but you can never buy love because it comes for free but is it worth the price you’ll pay? for a heavy heart will outweigh the cost in the end so tell me how am I supposed to feel when I don’t want to feel a thing? tell me how am I supposed to be when I can’t ever let it be? I can’t let it be it’s just the way I deal in the game of life in the game of love it’s just how I deal
3.
couldn’t believe you if I tried won’t even look me in the eye & if you did I’d have to lie because you know it’s never fine & if you could just take the time because we ain’t seeing eye to eye you know this shit ain’t going to fly so close to the fan everyone knows that the ceiling could never be high enough to keep up with where your head’s been to tell you the truth, I’ve grown so tired & I’m really just sick of this so who’s going to be the first one to call it quits?
4.
Shell Shine 04:06
left my ghost on the Carolina coast with the ever-fading glimpse of a quickly dying hope that the ghost of your love would find me there all the marble headstones could make for a quiet home because without your love this is where I belong I’m an empty shell of a man trying to make his way back to heaven because life without love is too much like hell where the coldest of hearts are like treasures for the devil the more I cry, the brighter they shine burned my dreams with kerosene flame & a gasoline breath to smoke out the pain of our oldest memories that no longer serve me well sold our old townhome & paid off all our loans I’ll do anything these days to feel a little more complete I’m an empty shell of a man trying to make his way back to heaven because life without love is too much like hell where the coldest of hearts are like treasures for the devil the more I cry, the brighter they shine
5.
On Our Way 04:32
love-drunk with the obsession at the first sight of your reflection you have found a way to catch my eye feeling so high up in the clouds with the angels dancing around your love makes me feel alive & if you told me 'let’s leave here tonight in search of better places & new faces’ that’s all you’d have to say then we’d be on our way on a Sunday the working begins working so hard to afford expenses so we can make it day to day driving out of town so far away got to fall asleep without you next to me but I know that’s where you should be & if you told me ‘let’s leave here tonight in search of better places & new faces’ that’s all you’d had to say now we are on our way
6.
No Country 02:46
If I could start again & erase the years don’t know where I’d begin but I’d try to find a rhyme in all my reason but it only feels like treason when there’s no country for old men how can we start again, with no place to begin? when there’s no country for old men if I could turn back time, to fast-forward or rewind I don’t know what I’d find but I’d try to find a rhyme in all my reason but it only feels like treason when there’s no country for old men how can we start again, with no place to begin? when there’s no country for old men for old men
7.
oh, the city lights, the way they shine up here on the Nashville skyline with a whiskey drink in tune to a country song it’s how I’ll spend my time it’s how I’ll spend my time songs of wayward love fill the smoky air & I can’t bear to hear the sound when with such things I compare it’s how I’ll spend my time wishing you were mine so I’ll drink to you, my dear for when the answers are unclear I’ll drink in tribute to my blues the blues I have because of you I’ll wait around until all the bar doors close & order one last round drink it all before I go & make my way to stumble home it’s how I’ll spend my time wishing you were mine so I’ll drink to you, my dear for when the answers are unclear I’ll drink in tribute to my blues the blues I have because of you
8.
Fold 04:01
in the prime of my youth with nothing at all to lose but having nothing is saying something when all you’re needing is a little love & I’m too young to feel this old & I’m too old to let it fold so order another round we’ll give it one more try give myself another chance to make me feel alright order another round we’ll give it one last try give myself another chance to make it out alright if hindsight is perfect distance then all I’ve seen is inconsistent but seeing something all means nothing if it’s not real or never had been & I’m too young to feel this old & I’m too old to let it fold so order another round we’ll give it one more try give myself another chance to make me feel alright order another round we’ll give it one last try give myself another chance to make it out alright
9.
Aftermath 06:03
our old mattress lies in the backyard behind the shed where I keep our things old cardboard boxes filled with photographs, letters, & memories makes for good firewood, if you ask me if we all did what we could just might be understood but I don’t think I ever should now another season’s passing & I feel like I’ve been pissing my whole life away all my dreams & aspirations fade & die out with the days makes for good excuses to drink the blues away & if we all did what we should we just might be happy but I don’t think I ever could in the aftermath of ancient love & all its faded glory cries the heart of every man to tell his sad, sad story makes for good confession to finally face the truth if we all did what we would things would stay the same so find someone else to blame
10.
forty-four divide another year gone by but rarely satisfied & in my life the range is wide the joys & pains both different sides of the same thing from what it seems to live this process patiently forty-four divide another year gone by but rarely satisfied
11.
Waver 05:18
Grim & I go way back to the very day I was born told him I’d have to take a rain check because I wasn’t ready to leave just yet & till this day we still talk calls me on his cigarette break to catch up I’m ready for you now I’m ready for you are you ready for me? loveless & I have made amends to this day, we remain close friends on occasion we’ll share the same bed but weighted down is not the way that I intend to stay I’m ready for you now I’m ready for you are you ready for me? all this time life has been the danger & death won’t sign the waver all this time love has been the mistake so lonely takes her place
12.
Waterfall 01:56
tears flow like a waterfall drown the pain in alcohol there’s nothing left to fear at all because there’s nothing left to feel at all the cliffs will break my lengthy fall oh, here I come
13.
Bittersweet 01:53
what I learned from love left a bitter taste in my mouth, but it was just enough to keep me coming back for more…
14.
Hold On 03:02
good lovin’ ain’t that hard to find but it’s hard to hold onto & what they never tell ya the best things in life are free but that don’t mean they’re easy & yes it’s true that the times, they are a-changin’ but people stay the same & that’s just the way it is so hold on to the love you know is true
15.
Twenty-Six 03:39
twenty-six & full of it sifting through the bullshit of my fading youth’s façade young enough to feel the spark & old enough to fear the dark balancing upon the line against what it means to burn & still I yearn hanging by a thread of anything that’s left of my innocence alas, looking for reflection in shards & broken pieces of shattered glass for all it’s worth in change have I remained the same? having known enough to guide my fate while impending prospects, they wane against a solid faith in drought I pray & wait for rain & still I yearn resolved in the fires of my conviction in spite of my condition you found me under heavy tide a blinding absolution in warming rays of light you are my song
16.
a few hours past midnight & I can't seem to find a way to keep the wheels from spinning in my mind there's got to be a better way to fix it all without the pill & alcohol I just never can seem to unwind & there's nothing you can do when the end is coming for you & there's nowhere you can hide when only time will decide where we end up the thing about ease is it's fine, until it up & leaves & then you're left with plenty, plenty of withouts & you know you should try to stay afloat but at that point, you're just too damn tired to swim & there's nothing you can do when the end is coming for you & there's nowhere you can hide when only time will decide where we end up But I believe in a new day for you & me & I believe in a new way for us to be

about

“One has to have endured a few decades before wanting, let alone needing, to embark on the project of recovering lost life…” ~Christopher Hitchens

With each passing year, I find my reliance on reminiscence to be an all-encompassing endeavor. As my yesterdays amass, I can’t help but sift through an endless sea of memories. Having recently turned 30 further sharpens this nostalgia. Looking back over the past decade, my roaring twenties, the sentiment is saccharine, even for the melancholy. It seems recollection is peculiarly remedial in its own right. But one can’t recover all that’s been lost in life until the loss has been defined, confronted, & eventually accepted. As Carl Jung put it, a man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them. Far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.

Is it even possible to ever fully grasp the purpose of mere being? I don’t know. But I do understand the darkness; shadows cast by obstructed light. Maybe navigating the existential conundrums of our twenty-something charades is par for the course, a right of entry to finally embark on the project of recovery. In the same way I sift through memories, I’ve sifted through shadowlands. & in wading through this inferno I’ve kept a record, in my case, quite literally so.

Shadowlands is a "little folk record" that took me 3 years to complete. With the guidance of producer/musician/songwriter/world-class badass Matthew Smith, we’ve crafted something I’m profoundly proud of. For me personally, these aren’t just folk songs – they’re manifestations from a decade’s worth of life, loss, love, laments, lessons, & levity. This collection of songs provides a tangibility that memories alone can’t attain. My hope in sharing this record is that you might, if only for a fleeting moment, identify with something expressed, something that just might provide the slightest kindling of light amid your journey through the darkness of life’s shadowlands.

Thanks for listening.

Sincerely,

~Chase Fiorenza

credits

released January 13, 2017

All material written, performed, produced, arranged, mixed, & mastered by Chase Fiorenza & Matthew Smith.

*additional credits & contributors where noted*

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Chase Fiorenza Atlanta, Georgia

"a man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them..." ~Carl Jung

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